You Don't Wanna Read This

This is the best way to start your blog. A fantastically useless first post...

So I think I should ponder over why my previous blogs didn’t take off?

I sat in my room all messed up as always and started thinking like Sherlock and the thought crossed my mind who’s a better genius, Einstein or Sherlock. Upon rigorous discussion with my toe nail I realised it’s not Sherlock it’s Sir Doyle.

So that led to the revelation that I actually don’t blog much because I don't find time and the reasons for that being:

1. I have this opprobrious* smartness disorder in which my smartness outsmarts the smartness of entire population of Neptune put together.

2. I have the combined sex appeal of Robert Downey Jr., David Beckham and Justin Bieber.

3. My conversation with my toe nails keep me busy more than anything.

4. My IQ is more than your fish.

5. I probably love you.

If you laughed after reading this shit you have a mental disorder. Such things should annoy you.

If you just smiled, I bet you were thinking about something else while reading it.

If you were annoyed, because after all it was all gibberish, you definitely are facing a mental disorder. Learn to laugh at stupid things ffs.

I was taught in school that an essay should always have the following three parts:

1) Introduction

2) Body

3) Conclusion

Chocolates?

* If you don't know what 'opprobrious' means, simply call me (if you're bloody hot) otherwise, just fucking Google it, genius.